It's been hectic as can be here, I'm deterimined to make Halloween wonderful this year, and every evening when litle ones are in bed, I've been paper mache'ing and painting and wood cutting 'till my fingers bleed!

Photo's are being taken by the way!

Plus I've been mentally planning a) the eventually will-happen-someday wedding (A halloween wedding... we lurve halloween!) and b) my new website.

Anyway, on to the tagging. This wonderful woman tagged me (And I'm afraid I don't know your name, sorry!) and here's what I have to do.

Rules: Having been tagged, I have to blog 5 things about myself that mostly no-one knows and then tag three more blogger friends.

(not that I have many blogger friends... sob sob boo hoo)

1) I don't Like shoes.

If I can get away with it, I don't wear footwear. I adore walking through the streets and fields feeling the floor beneath me. I have stood in and on many truly unpleasent things (Dog poop, glass, fag stubs etc) the the unpleasentness never lasts for long.

Sometimes I do just leave the house having forgotten to put any footwear on, and not bothered to go back to get them. I once got in a bad mood and stormed out of the house, and walked 5 miles along a bridal path (horse poop and stones, lovely)

My eldest son seems to be following in my (bare)footsteps also, as he isn't so keen on shoes either.

Although with the bad weather setting in... I'll probably wear them a little more.

2) I'm manipulative

Not in an evil vindictive way though, but I seem to have an innate sense of how other peoples minds work, and can usually say the right words/phrass to get what I want/need from someone. I like to think I'm subtle at it, but it's not something I do very often, as I feel guilty afterwards. but if it's just to get my mother to buy me a little something, or to get a freind to watch my kids for a few minutes, then it's okay, lol.

3) I'm allergic to Pot.

I was 16 when I had my first joint. Well, shared anyway. I felt fuzzy straight away, and rather queasy. We were behind a huge building sat on a high wall, and I just leaned forward and threw up viciously. It didn't feel good at all, just ick. A few months later I tried again. I had a while joint to myself. Silly me.

We were on a trip with school (I'd just started 6th form) to a nearby university for the weekend. And we each had a room. Well I'm glad mine was on the ground floor. After going into the wood with friends, smoking it, I felt sick as hell. I somehow stumbled back to my room and crashed onto my bed. It was only 9pm. At 11 the tutors had to register everyone to make sure we were all around, and my friends were desperatly trying to open my door and window, because they knew if I wasn't there to be registered, the tutors would come and find me, and see what a state I was in. So I crawled (pretty much) to my tutor, said i was here, and went back to bed.

There were 'phones between all the rooms, and all night people would ring mine, seeing how I am. And each time I would jump awake and out of bed, answer the 'phone, tell them to fuck off and leave me alone, throw up in the sink next to my bed and pass out again.

It wasn't fun cleaning that up!

I kept trying every now and then and kept being sick. The last time was about 2 years ago, I felt worse than I ever had done, I threw up untill I just brought up acid, I couldn't move my head to drink because I just threw up more. Eventually my partner got me to bed.

I think I'll just leave it at that. I'm allergic methinks.

4) I mastrbate daily.

not a huge deal I know. I used to be an Ann Summers organiser (google it) and it was the best job I've ever had. Especially with a 30% discount on the toys! I have a fair few at home now, and go through batteries like no business! (Thank god for rechargables!) I adore pornography and erotica, and frequently utilise both. I don't get PMS really, but if I go for more than three days without an orgasm, I'm 2x worse than any PMSy woman! So really, I masturbate for the good of those around me

I also don't use my toys for penetration. Self penetration just doesn't get me off at all. It's clitoral all the way! I'm a pillow humper by nature, and adding a vibe into the mix is wonderful!

5) I desperatly wish I was more creative.

Over time I've tried to learn to play the piano, the cello and guitar. I took art at GCSE level and got an E, I really wish i was more artsy, but it's just not in me at all. I write, but that's just paper/computer screenage. It's not something physical that I can look at and say 'I made that'.

who am I going to tag?

I have no idea yet, I don't really know anyone that blogs

yes.

I've used the screenname modified mummy for a while now. And I've finally decided to get my arse into gear and try and learn how to build a webpage.

now don't laugh... but I suck. I know so little it's pitiful.

But that's not a problem! I have the awesome power of the internet to guide me!

I know this is a sucky post, and there is little of interest in it. But this project has been taking up my whole day so far (with saddeningly little progress) and I just needed a break!

although bed will be a good break too. Night night all, I'll let you know if/when it's officlally live, lol.

I've got a man cold *sneeze*.

I feel like shite *cough* and I have no idea how I'm going to *atchoo* get through the day. I really hope my partner will bunk off work and look after the kids, so I can *sniffle* just rest and get over this evil man cold.

Feel awful just typical to get a cold from hell just aftwer getting my septum pierced. thsi is going to extend the healing, it's so tender .

I'm off for some lemsip and bed, while partner is out doing food shopping with my youngest. Eldest is in pre school... he's so grown up

Tatty bye,

MM

Why is it that automatically upon becoming a parent… it seems to be that all you could ever want is to socialise with other parents?

I live in a very small village, in a housing estate run by the local housing authority. It’s a very pretty way to live, but it is terribly isolated.

I do not drive, I cannot use the bus (the bus stop is located right on the A66, one of the most dangerous roads in this area, and I am scared to death crossing that road especially with two young kids), and there is almost no one here I can relate to.

So I’m lonely. I miss my friends who live in the nearby town, I miss general day to day interactions with people… that doesn’t focus purely on children!

Now, everyone in this area seems to know each other well. Most have lived here many years, and have family living here also. Perhaps it’s my own fault for not trying harder. But personally, it boils down to two main reasons as to why I cannot really call many people here real friends.

1) They’re of an entirely different generation.

The few people around here whom I get on with to a degree, are mostly a lot older than I am, have older children and different ideals than I. I’m not saying that as if it is a bad thing, but it’s really hard to make a meaningful connection with someone who thinks that my way of thinking/acting/behaving is so obscure and strange. I don’t go out of my way to be obscure and strange… but I am honest about who I am, what I like, and what I think. I’m not going to stop my son from playing with his toy buggy because older parents can’t seem to grasp beyond the idea’s of ‘Boy’s toys and girl’s toys’, I’m not going to stop listening to my music because everyone else seems to adore Elvis. And I’m not going to dress all ‘mumsy’ and forfeit my shaved head just to fit in with a crowd.

Of course, my friends back in town wouldn’t see anything like that (or the rest of who I am) as strange. In fact, amongst my group of friends I’m the tame one, lol.

2) If they’re closer to my own age range… they’re chavvy idiots who spend their time shouting and drinking.

Now, I know that it’s possible that not all chav’s are as bad as they’re made out to be. However, the younger parents around here certainly fit into the worst-case stereotype. And with it comes the narrow-mindedness, and of course, the abuse that comes with it. Needless to say, none of them seem particularly keen on my family and myself. And it’s not to say I haven’t tried. When we first moved here we would greet everyone, try to get to know people, be civil and polite and a nice as can be. (Although to be honest, it wasn’t something we strived at, it’s just how we are). After the novelty factor wore off however (“oh my gawd, did ya see that fat chick with all the piercings? She can fit her finger through her ear”) the derogatory remarks and actions started, and I no longer wasted any energy on them.

Maybe you think I’m being as judgemental as they seem to be. Perhaps I am, but I speak my judgement from personal experience of these specific people.

If I ever mention to anyone that I am lonely however, I get told about various children’s groups or parents clubs etc. I don’t have a need to be around other parents, there are enough of them surrounding me. I just want to have friends whom I can relate to on a more personal level, not just for the fact that the only thing we have in common is that we’ve shoved various offspring out of our vaginas! (Or they have tiny little flash art on their bodies…)

To the couple of people whom I actually seem to get on with (if you read this of course) you don't fit into either of those catagories, and I hope we can get to know each other better at some point.

All I need is for a man or woman to move here, blare rock music out of their house, hold play piercing parties in their garden, play video games, and like me…

Ah well. Screw being lonely. I have the Internet!

(although it’d help if you commented so I could hold a conversation with someone )

I read this article in my local newspaper with interest. Is it only me that find it slightly unnerving that this young girl is posing for the photograph, smiling, holding a note that translates into saying: 'Our farm is a black farm. Please do not co-operate with them, they are traitors.'

I wonder if i should go to greater lengths to get this image into the big wide world (of the internet of course) to see if anyone else has a clue as to who wrote the note etc.

Click here for full image

Almost every single person who gets some form of visible modification will get a common set of questions from the curious plain-skins. Some are perfectly reasonable, some are laughable, but all can be answered with a straight face.

Here are some of those questions, and my own personal answers.

1) Did that hurt?

Yes, of course it did, it's a needle going into my skin! Do you somehow think that my skin is impervious to pain?!

Now, every person has a different thresh-hold for the level of pain they can bear. It doesn't make the pain any less, it just means some people can cope with it better than others.

2) Where do you have piercings (and how many)?

Let's put it this way. I have 7 piercings that you can see (if you were stood by me of course) and two that you can't.

3) What about when you're all old and wrinkly and look awful?

Skin gets 'old and wrinkly' whether it is tattooed or not. I'd much rather have interesting (or odd) looking wrinkly skin than just skin which is old and wrinkly

4) You'll regret it in a few years.

That's entirely possible. But I highly doubt it. I don't regret a single thing in my life, even the shit things. Regret is the biggest waste of mental energy I can think of. Regretting something that has happened doesn't change the past now does it? I don't regret not taking my AS levels, I don't regret arguing back with my mother (which resulted in my getting kicked out of home at 16... oops), I don't regret staying with my abusive boyfriend as long as I did. Because if those things didn't happen? I wouldn't be who and where I am today. And I quite like who I am. I think I'm rather lovely .

5) Do you take drugs?

Drugs?! Caffeine, on occasion. Nicotine, very regulary. Alcohol rarely. Anything other than that, not really. I'm a mother! Two kiddies who are into everything, if I had the time to be off doing drugs I'd much rather spend the time catching up on sleep!

The only illegal substances I've had are aerosols (I was 14) and weed. And guess what? I've been trying to smoke weed since I was 16 years old, trying every few months or so, and each and every time I have been violently physically sick. I stopped trying a fair while ago, after officially deeming myself 'allergic'.

6) Does that go all the way through?

Of course it does. There is nothing dafter than the 'magnetic' jewellery people can get which makes it look as if a piercing is there. In my eyes anyway (the opinion, not the jewellery of course )

7) What are you going to do when you sons want piercings/tattoos/scarification/etc

If they're 14 or older? I'll talk to them about it, outline all the pros and cons, help them research said modification, and make sure it's what they truly want. I'm hoping my kids will be reasonably obedient, because I plan to implement a 12-month waiting period on any modifications. (While they're of the age of needing parental consent)

This 12 month period should make sure that it's still what they want, and that they really comprehend what they plan to do to their bodies.

8) What about when you go through a metal detector?

Most metal detectors would have to be on their most sensitive setting to pick up such tiny pieces of metal. If they did set one off, it'd be a simple case of showing what you have. And while I do have intimate metal? I'm not shy about it, so I wouldn?t mind having to verify I just have piercings, and not a gun hidden up my nether regions

9) What about if you walk by a large magnet?

All my body jewellery is made from titanium. From what I?ve been told, titanium isn?t magnetic. Anyway, what is the likelihood I?ll be walking by a huuuge magnet anyway?

10) Why?!

Now that's a helluva question. Why indeed. Personally, my body is my own to adorn as I see fit, and I choose to place my modifications on my body to show that it is truly mine. Also, with each modification I get, I get a sense of completeness, like I am becoming whole. Perhaps someday I?ll reach my limit? that I'll finally feel as if I am completed. But until that point, I'll carry on, and modify my body how I see fit.

Now, this is of course, only a list of 10. However, if you have any more questions feel free to ask me. I promise to respond to each question/comment posted. My three-year-old son is currently at the 'why' stage, so asking any and all questions is something I'm rather adept at right now

Good evening to you.

After completing 24 hours so far with my shiny new septum piercing, I must say my nose mustn't be quite as large as I've always thought. That's a small fortune saved on cosmetic surgery I shan't be considering, yay!

I anticipated a helluva lotta knocks and bangs and tweaks to my nose. None have occured... yet.

Of course, as I've mentioned that things are going fine, they're going to suck from here on in as I have obviously jinxed the whole healing process.

I have pics for you of my delightfully hairy nostrils!

At least they're not majorly snotty! that's my biggest problem at the moment. I'm an obsessive nose blower (and cannot stand the thought of 'sniffing' snot back into my head rather than blowing it out!) and it's still rather delicate.

I've also discovered that I pick my nose, and rather alot also. Nothing beats aversion therapy though, and the fact that every time a stray finger goes near my nostrils a very sharp pain is emitted should surely cure me of such a manky habit!

Took Callum to the cinema today. It was my littlest brothers birthday. The kids all seemed to enjoy it. not that I knew, I spent an hour and a half walking around the small town the cinema is located in, in which most shops strictly adhere to the whole concept of sunday closing. Most also shut for half days on wednesday, is that still common or a strange little quirk that has refused to die in my town?

It was raining too, and nowhere was open for me to sit, have a coffee and feed my baby (the reason I didn't go into the cinema, it'd've been much too loud for him).

I'm so glad I have no qualms about sitting in random store doorways when I need to rest. Sure I get dodgy looks doing so, but I get dodgy looks when I just wander through a crowd anyway, so it is certainly not a new thing, lol.

Also this afternoon I decided to teach my three year old to use a PC and mouse. Bloody hell, within three minutes he'd got it nailed! Admitidly the mouse is a bit too big and sensitive for him to use easily, but that's not a problem that'll take much solving. He was so proud of himself, and I was so proud of him! I really didn't expect him to pick it up so quickly. Especially relating moving the mouse to moving the cursor on screen.

I downloaded this game/programme for him to use, to practise his skills with and enjoy himself. It is a free trial bUt I know how my son is when he is in the middle of something and then can't carry on, so I bought the verification code and he's got full reign of the game now.
Hope you're well.

(re: title... I assumed sleeping would be bad, with rolling over and hurting my nose on the pillow or something)

I don't think I actually have listed for you (or shown you) which body modifications I have.

Well I currently have:

Piercings:
(Links to BME wiki pages. Nipple and VCH may be NSFW)

Tragus
Nipple
VCH
10mm and 5mm stretched lobes
Inner conch
Lip
Smiley
Septum

Tattoos:
(pics of my own tattoos)

Now, over christmas I removed my bridge piercing. I was seeing some old members of my family, and thought for their sanity I would remove it, as it's the most intrusive of my facial piercings.

But I forgot to put it back in.

Today, for the first time in almost a year I went back to my tattoo studio. My piercer Gillian seemed really happy to see us! Last time I went was for my moogle tattoo... and that was a week before I found out I was pregnant. Almost a year ago now!

She wanted to see if the hole had closed completly... and after trying to thread something through it, we discovered it was still viable! A quick stretch (painful!) and new jewellery was in! Total score, and saving of a small fortune!

And then I deided to get my septum done...

Holy fucking hell it hurt. Just the clamps on my nose hurt! I've never felt anything so painful in that piercing room! Even my original bridge piercing and my VCH didn't hurt as much as that did.

But now it's done. Now I've got my facial metal back (My eyebrow bar is staying retired) i truly feel modified again, and will strive to live up to my 'Modified Mummy' title...

And I know for a fact that my 3 month old son will headbutt me in the nose sometime soon... it's just bound to happen!

We also did loads of fun shopping around the city of Carlisle, and went to a soft play center. My 3 year old desperatly needed to play, as wandering shopping is desperatly boring at that age and he was starting to act up.

Now how do I avoid my mother while I heal... awww crap, it's my youngest brothers birthday party tomorrow. No way of avoiding that!

I've not lived at home since I got kicked out at 16... yet I still cringe when she has a go at me over mods. Ah well.

Here's to good healing!

Jaysus! My eldest starts school(ish) tomorrow! He'll be going to the nursery of the local primary school for the first time tomorrow, and then maybe three days a week after that (but the sessions are only 9am 'till 11am).

It's scary to think he's growing up!

After going to my friends wedding the other day, I thought it'd be fun to start planning my own wedding...

And upon doing so, I realised that I'm more of a nerd than I realised!

Or just a regular gamer.

I like games, I truly do, although most of the time I'll go for soft option games (Harvest moon, Animal Crossing, Worms, etc etc) but my first gaming love was (here comes the cliche!) Final Fantasy VII.

I grew up with games, our first being the Sega Megadrive way back when I was just a wee thing. We then got a snes (well, my brother did) I got an Original Gameboy... and things went from there, gradually upgrading usually a year after each new console was released.

I remember the day vividly we bought FFVII... my mother, younger brother and I were in our local woolworths store, and my brother (being the reader of PlayStation Magazine) picked up a copy of said game.

I scoffed, loudly, saying any game my brother decided was good had to suck immensly!

Boy was I wrong!

Anyway, to save you on more pointless drivel, A couple of songs in the actual wedding ceremony i have planned out are songs from FFVII.

While the guests are waiting for the ceremony to start, I though either 'water' from FFVII:AC or possibly 'ahead on our way'. When I arrive to make my graceful walk down the aisle... the musci playing wouldn't be any of the atypical wedding march type music. No! Instead I would rather play the song 'On the other side of the mountain'.

Now if that wasn't nerdy enough to have (Vivaldi Spring second movement possibly for us leaving together), I had another idea which would need impeccable timing from whomever is in charge of the music that day...

Oh yes my dear friends... music playing specifically for the kiss! And it's entirely possible that you're also a fan of FFVII... and that an idea is forming in your minds already, jumping to the same nerdy conclusion I myself reached!

Indeed, the 'Victory Fanfare' for the kiss! Admittidly just the fanfare, not the rest of the song however.

I wish I had more nerd friends who would find this funny

Oh, all links point to piano music rather than in game music.

And I'm such a game nerd I have a moogle tattoo!

Good evening to you all!

Today could have been wonderful, but then I remembered we have children...

We were sypposed to go to Lake Ullswater and go for a ride on the steamers but that never happened, as our youngest had to have his jabs today, and by the time we got to the lake the last boat of the day was about to leave... and not return to that pier.

So we took eldest for a paddle in said lake instead, then went for a pub lunch.

And if course, we left our changing bag there (The pub of course, we'd never leave a bag in the lake, it'd get all the cookies wet!). In a wonderful foreward thinking moment this morning (at a time of day any kind of thinking is barely possible!) I thought I'd use just the changing bag today, and put all our lovely expensive things in it, rather than a bag of my own.

Granted we don't have alot of shiny expensive things, but I'd be lost without my camera!

Because then I'd never be able to show you these!

Using 1 inch long, 25 gauge needles, I decided a session of play piercing was in order!

These were my last ones of this size, the rest I have are HUGE!

I'm quite proud of these piccies, they're not too bad really. I probably wouldn't have done them on my foot had I not had the tattoo there. But said tattoo is there, and it all looks so pretty! The skin was a bit more fiddley to go through than arm or leg skin though.

Hey, who knew it, I can do math!

But I had to go through with the endevour to come to the conclusion, rather than going 'Hmm, this is going to be a lot of trouble'.

I have two kids, one's three, one is only 10 weeks old.

My best friend got married yesterday.

My partner had to be at a funeral halfway down the country.

And of course, I couldn't not go... so after some organising of a lift, off I went.

It was grand at first. Eldest wanted to go and do dancing (so he did), youngest wanted lots of cuddles (which he got, from various members of the party), and I wanted a ciggie.

Damn.

Anyway, I saw a few people, cracked on well with people I rarely see (I live in a tiny village full of chav's and don't drive, I don't see much of my friends anymore) and tried to enjoy myself.

Well, the first dance started (I almost cried, how soft have I become since becoming a mother!) and I really wanted Popple (said partner who was at a funeral) to be there to cuddle me

And then the DJ's decided to play the most obnoxious loud music imaginable. Now, I say obnoxious... what I really mean is crappy out of date 'pop' drivel which truley make your ears bleed and make you wish for a quick death.

And it was rather loud... and the wee bairn wasn't happy.

So we sat in another room (where the food was, score!) all night.

Various people came and went, and they'd offer to look after said kids so I could have a ciggie. Thank god!

On the way I met a lovely lad called Tucker.

He's rather into his own body modifications too (Oh, if you didn't know, that's why I'm called Modified Mummy, body mods are certainly grand!) and having a real conversation, with a real person, about tattoos and piercings was devine! And as I was wearing a shorter dress than normal, and was barefoot, two of my three tattoo's were rather visable, and certainly a point of discussion!

It's wierd that I am the first 'mother' out of that whole circle of our friends... and yet my friend was the first to be married (but that's only because I am unsure about their relationship, but that's not for me to think about, they're married now, and happy I assume)

I might do some play piercing later, that'll be fun.

Well, seeing as the mass helicopter flight project is taking longer than I thought to organise (through no fault of my own, damn hill owners!) I've got to think of something else to keep myself and a bored toddler amused for today.

We shall be doing more work on said helicopter project later, but today, our mission is...

Ice Cream in a Bag!

After seeing this video depicting the ease involved in making ice cream with plastic bags and ice, I set works in motion!

And realised that our large freezer... is actually rather full. And it's not filled with ice cubes, dammit!

So, clearing space in said freezer was cold and not fun. Then the joy of trying to balance the three ice cube trays so as they'd not spill was quite a feat!

Next to gather the ingredients. I googled a fair few recipes and they all mostly said the same sorta thing, so i kinda botched them together to fit what we have:

Of course, after gathering everything, My son and his friend both decided they wanted chocolate ice cream, so the honey and horlicks and the like, all got put back away.

Then measuring out the ingriedients. God only knows that cooking with kids is a hassle in itself, so making it easier when they're involved is a godsend!

* Almost half a pint of milk (240mls, apparantly that's what 'a cup' means in american recipes)

* 2 Tablespoons of sugar

* 2-3ish tablespoons of chocolate milkshake powder (Poor kids, the only chocolate powder we have is reduced sugar , and I'll bet it'll taste naff!)

Apparantly all this goes into a wee freezer bag type object. Well, we went and bought freezer bags, but I wondered how the hell were the kids supposed to fill them, without making even MORE mess!

And I remembered our rather ample collection of olde fashioned pint mugs. The bags fit inside and overlap perfectly

And now for the mixing...

Post apocolyptic mess!

Oh dear god.

By the way, only the wee boy is mine. The girl is a darling who lives nearby, her and my son are thick as thieves

Next was a large bag of ice. And a bit of salt.

Tied it up, with the smaller bags tied up and inside the larger... and take it out and shake it madly.

After about 7 minutes of vaguely vigirous shaking... this is the result:

Methinks mush is a much better term to use for the end result, rather than trying to label it as ice cream.

But they ate it, so all was good.

I really doubt I'll be trying that again soon. i know exactly where I probably most likely went wrong:

* not a specific recipe

But who cares, we all had fun of it. Not every project is going to work eh?

Hello there!

I should welcome you to this blog, one of many thousands upon thousands which exist purely because someone somewhere may be intersted in the mundane goings on of some obscure person's daily life.

And of course, this may be no different.

I might have something to say which could interest you, but of course, that's only if you find what I'm saying interesting. Most people don't, not least myself. That's why i stopped talking to myself and tried the whole 'conversing with other people' malarky, talking to my self got so mind numbingly dull!

But no matter. I've not as yet decided on what the theme is for this. Whether I should recount my fasinating tales of nappy changing to you, or perhaps the astonishment upon finding yet another shit on the carpet because of our evil kittens!

Most likely, I'll be describing the things which keep me sane.

Or, at least, slightly less insane than I would be without such little projects.

And current project of amusement is....

Mass helicopter flight!

Details? Pah, you can't possibly have details. And you know why?

*whispers* There are no piccies yet. Oops.*whisper*